NORMALLY, I don't wildly sing the praises of zinesters, but TAMARA LAZAROFF is worth the effort. For some time now she's been sending me her exquisitely written, hauntingly beautiful self-published work and I feel privileged that she does so. It's rare to find a writer with such confidence and talent. I'm honoured that she considers me someone worth sending her zines to for reviews. I recently interviewed Tamara and her answers were as refreshing and intelligent as the writing in her zines. Please enjoy the interview...
1. Howlonghaveyoubeenwritingandcreatingzines?
I'veenjoyedwritingsinceIwaskid.ButIhaveonlybeencreatingzinesforthelastfiveyears. Pre-zines,I'dbeenwonderinghowandwhereIcouldsharemystoriesinawaythatfeltcomfortabletome,thatfitme.AndthenIhappenedtobegoingtotheNewcastleYoungWritersFestivalin2008.Iheardtherewasazinefair.Ibookedastall.I started puttingtogethermyfirstzine,Briefly,Birds.Andthatwasitforme.Itwaslovefromthestart.WhatIreallyloveaboutzinesandzinecultureistheunmediated,intimateandequalconnectionthatIgettohave,asawriter,withareader;andthatareadergetstohavewithme;andthatIgettohaveasareaderwithotherzinesters.Tome,thezineworldisanopen,egalitarianspace.Anyonecanparticipate.
2.Whatzinesandzine-makers(ifany)inspire/dyoutoself-publish?
OneofthefirstzinesIfellinlovewithwasGiantessbyCandacePetrik. There are tenissuesaltogetherandtheydealreallycandidlywith being queer,internalisedhomophobiaandcomingout(aswellasotherthings).Gorgeoustolookattoo,Giantessisstilloneofmyfavouritezines. I'm actually writing a homage zine, at the moment, for Giantess. (It's called Lezbianka.) But, anyway, this zine, Giantess, and countless, countless others, continue to inspire me to offer whatever I have to offer right now – writing-wise, and life-wise. I don't have to be polished and perfect.
3.Whatwritersinspire/dyoutowrite?
I'malwaysburstingwithnewideasafterazinefair.Ireadlotsofpoetryandfictionandnon-fiction.Ilikelisteningtopeopletalk,tellstoriesabouttheirlives– conversationinspiresme.ButthefirstwriterwhoinspiredmetoeventhinkaboutmaybewritingmyselfisJackKerouac.
4. Whydoyouchoosehard-copyprintasyourprimemedium?Whydoyoupreferthatovertheinternet?Anddoyouhaveanonlinepresence(ablog,website,Tumblr,etc)?
Ienjoythezineasobject– makingazine,assembling,designing,thefactthatIcanholdazineinmyhands,turnthepages'manually'.Ialsoreallyenjoythefactthatzinesareephemeralobjects– muchmoreephemeralthanaproperlybound,acid-freepaperbookorawebpage.Soonerratherthanlater,azinewilldisintegrate,disappear.There'ssomethinglovelyandpoetic and true aboutthat.Onamorepracticalnote,I'mnotverytechnologicalperson.ButIamthinkingaboutablog...
5. You’redoingsomethingratherradicalin2013(producingahard-copyzine),soIhavetoaskarezinesdead...orjustcoughingupblood?
6. Alotofyourzinesdealwithyourexperiencestravellingoverseasandmeetingpeoplefromdifferentcountriesandcultures.Howhavetheseexperiencesshapedyouasawriter?
Well,abouttenyearsago,Idecidedtorelearnmyfirstlanguage,Macedonian.Istudieditformallythroughanold-stylecorrespondencecourseatMacquarieUniversity(IwasoneofthelaststudentstograduatebeforetheDepartmentclosedin2010).Anyway,during this time, IhadtheopportunitytotraveltoMacedonia. Igottomeetandspeakwithlotsofpeople;Icollectedalotofstoriesandexperiences.I also gottoseehowIthinkdifferentlyinMacedonian.EmbeddedintheMacedonianlanguage– anylanguage– isawholeworldviewandwayofbeingdifferenttomyworld-viewandwayofbeinginEnglish.ThisissomethingI'vebeentryingtoarticulatein some of myrecentzines– PrisoninMacedonia;IAmNatasha;BunnyMen;Walnuts,Almonds,Nuts.Therearestillmorecoming.
6.Haveyoualwaysbeenakeenobserverofothers,evenasachild?Thatabilityshinesthroughinyourstories.
Likeanyone,I'm probably akeenobserverofparticularthings.Growingup,asakid,inatight-knitMacedonianhouseholdandcommunityinSydney,Ioftenfeltlikeananthropologiststudyingpeopleandtheirbehaviours,practices,rituals,customs.Bothinsideandoutsidethehome,'correct'codesweresovastlydifferent.
7.Doyouthinkallzinesterswouldbenefitfromtraveltobroadentheirminds?Hastravellingmadeyouabetterwriter?
Hmm,Dann.Idon'tknowhowtoanswerthisone. I enjoy reading adventures-at-home zines just as much as I enjoy travel zines. Adventures-at-home zines I like are: Incredibly Hot Sex With Hideous People (Bryce Galloway), a wry domestic/family-life zine; anything by The Sydney Exploratory Society; and anything by Michelle B. like her hilarious, observational The Joy of Public Transport. Overseas travel zines I like to re-read are: JuneGraveyardandKingdombytheSea(VanessaBerry)whichareaboutVanessa'sliterarypilgrimagestothegravesitesofSylviaPlathandJanetFrame;andHomesick/Awaysick (RenataJoyField);andOneWeekwithBirds(RaquelOrmella) in which Raquel documents in beautiful pictures and words a week in the Tamar Island Wetlands in Tasmania.
8. Whatdoeswritingmeantoyou?Isitself-expression,ahobby,anobsession,what?
IguessIthinkofwritingasbeingmathematical,practicalandpersonal.AstoryissomethingIcandowithmythoughts,feelings,curiosities.It'sawayofworkingthingsout– likeabig,long algebraic problem being asked of me inasymboliclanguageIhavetotranslate. Lots of x'sandy'sandpisandcosinesandsines.Therearen'tanyrightanswers.Butit'senjoyabletryingtoarticulate,inthesimplestway,whatseemsinarticulable.Totrytogiveaformtotheblindspotsinmypsyche.Atleastthat'swhatwritingistomeatthatmoment– whileI'mdoingtheseMacedonianstories.
9.Canyou(orwouldyou)liketomakeacareeroutofwriting?
Well, Iusedtomakejewellery,one-offpieces,andsellthematmarkets around Sydney. Then, Iusedtofeelthateachpiecewaswaitingfortheonepersontocomealongandcollectandclaimit.Ifeelthesameaboutstories.Storieshavetheirdestination,theirreceiverorreceivers.WhatIwantformywriting,mystories,isthat they have thechancetoreachthepeoplewhowouldenjoyorrelateorgetsomething for themselves outof them. Atthemoment,I'mthinkingaboutwhatIwilldowiththeMacedonianstoriesthatseemtobepilingup.Maybetheywouldbenefitfromlookedatbyaneditor.MaybeIwillbringthemtogetherinonegiantzine.MaybeI'llmakeanartists'bookoutofthem.We'llsee.
10. Iftherewasonezinethatyoucouldhandsomeoneandsay,“ThisisME” – whichonewouldyouchoose?Oristhattoohard?IsiteasierifIjustaskwhichzineyou’remostproudof?
IstillfeelreallyproudofmyfirstzineBriefly,Birds.Likeanyfirstanything,it'sbraveandrough and ready andnaïve.Butofmyrecentzines,IlikeBunnyMenbestbecauseitfeelsasifthereisaghost,apresencestandingbehindthestoryandIdon'tknowwhatitmeanstosaytome– yet.
11.Giveusyourcontactdetails.Wherecanpeoplereachyoutoobtainyourzines?Prices,what’savailable,etc...Well, as I said, Iamthinkingaboutblog.Butinthemeantime I can be contacted by email:
Thezines I have available,oldandnew,are: Briefly,Birds(2008) $4(pluspostage); House(2009) $3 (plus postage); NotBroken,ButOpened(2009) $3(pluspostage); PoemsI'veLivedWith(2009) $4(pluspostage); ToPraiseistheThing(2010) $3(pluspostage); PrisoninMacedonia(2012)$3(pluspostage); IAmNatasha(2012) $3(pluspostage); VeryBriefly,Birds(2012) $2(pluspostage); Well,ThatWasWeird(2012) $3(pluspostage); EveryoneTonightInTheStreet!(2013) $4(pluspostage); BunnyMen(2013) $2(pluspostage); Walnuts,Almonds,Nuts(2013) $3(pluspostage); and Anti-Journey (2013) $2(pluspostage).