THE main reason I watch Expo (the home shopping channel) is for this woman. Seriously, if I wasn't married, I would totally hook up with British-born NZ-based Expo host Suzanne Paul.
Afterwards, over a glass of Nopalea, I'd make my move.
Slowly, I'd peel off Suzanne's Cami Shaper and Slim & Tone Leggings. As they fell to the floor I'd lead her into my bedroom where the True Sleeper lay waiting. Lying her down on my My Pillow, she would gasp at the comfort and low, low price before she yielded to my manly charms and we made the beast with two backs all night long.
When I'd finished making love to her for the fifth time straight, I'd pause and gently whisper, "But that's not all..."
In the morning, I'd cook her breakfast in my Flavourwave Express ovens and offer her a work-out session in my living room with my full range of Tapout XT exercise DVDs.
Later, I'd send her a bill for my services, offering her the chance to pay me only $29.95 in five easy monthly instalments, or $149.95 in one full payment.
