Articles on this Page
- 09/27/13--02:41: _QUICK ZINE REVIEWS ...
- 11/12/13--15:33: _REVIEW: Elementary ...
- 06/02/13--18:48: _REVIEW: Grunted War...
- 06/02/13--20:39: _REVIEW: Beerbox Hai...
- 06/08/13--17:52: _DVD review: "The Ba...
- 06/10/13--20:30: _A new zine? I don't...
- 06/21/13--18:24: _Why, it's Amanda Fu...
- 06/22/13--07:46: _Now on Tumblr. :)
- 08/11/13--08:16: _Oh Suzanne......
- 09/04/13--08:06: _Article 5
- 12/07/13--16:22: _REVIEW: Space Monst...
- 12/08/13--04:25: _Mixed emotions
- 12/18/13--13:04: _GIG REVIEW: Roo Sho...
- 05/17/14--16:36: _Some zine reviews. ...
- 06/10/14--06:52: _REVIEW: Football Me...
- 06/10/14--08:30: _Kate Upton ...has n...
- 06/10/14--08:32: _Kate Upton- Cat Dad...
- 06/10/14--08:33: _Football Metaphysic...
- 06/27/14--01:04: _EVER-SO-SLIGHTLY HA...
- 07/07/14--07:42: _REVIEWS: Conspiritu...
- 09/27/13--02:41: QUICK ZINE REVIEWS TIME
- 11/12/13--15:33: REVIEW: Elementary Headcoats: The Singles 1990-1999
- 06/02/13--18:48: REVIEW: Grunted Warning #18
- 06/02/13--20:39: REVIEW: Beerbox Haiku by Raven Mack
- 06/08/13--17:52: DVD review: "The Barrens"
- 06/10/13--20:30: A new zine? I don't fucking believe it!
- 06/21/13--18:24: Why, it's Amanda Fuckin' Palmer!!
- 06/22/13--07:46: Now on Tumblr. :)
- 08/11/13--08:16: Oh Suzanne......
- 09/04/13--08:06: Article 5
- 12/07/13--16:22: REVIEW: Space Monsters #2
- 12/08/13--04:25: Mixed emotions
- 05/17/14--16:36: Some zine reviews. Overdue in parts, new in others...
- 06/10/14--06:52: REVIEW: Football Metaphysics: World Cup 2014
- 06/10/14--08:30: Kate Upton ...has nice boobies
- 06/10/14--08:32: Kate Upton- Cat Daddy *ORIGINAL*
- 06/10/14--08:33: Football Metaphysics: World Cup 2014 book - BUY IT!
- 06/27/14--01:04: EVER-SO-SLIGHTLY HARSH ZINE REVIEW: Unbelievably Bad #12
- 07/07/14--07:42: REVIEWS: Conspiritus Muppetus and Kamuke #7
Elementary Headcoats: The Singles 1990-1999 starts off as fun garage pop with silly novelty songs like My Dear Watson and Hog's Jaw, before descending into hell with the harrowing Every Bit Of Me and the confronting instrumental Paedophile, both dealing with the abuse singer/songwriter Billy Childish experienced as a child.
From there, the CD seemingly changes tack with killer punk tunes that kick arse, summed up perfectly by the delightfully titled I've Been F*ckin' Your Daughters And Pissing On Your Lawns.
This 50-track, two-disc collection is essential listening for garage/punk fans. It's only taken me 20 years to get into Billy Childish and Thee Headcoats. About bloody time.
You can easily find Elementary Headcoats for sale cheap on eBay. I suggest you buy it there.
I'VE never been a fan of poetry unless it's being screamed at me from a stage by aggressive drunks. Normally, I find poetry too feeble, too twee, too pretentious.
That said, I have a soft spot for Japanese haiku - mainly 'cos the rigid format (three lines: five syllables, seven syllables/five syllables) means it takes discipline to not only write one, but write a good one.
And that's the beauty of Beerbox Haiku, Raven Mack's new collection of nearly 1000 poems - written during "a dark transitional period" in his life. In 17 syllables, he effectively and hauntingly captures working class life in modern America: the joys of family...the daily grind of manual labour...the sweet release of alcohol (followed by the inevitable "alcohol guilt")...the social intricacies of relating daily to others for whom the American Dream has failed them...the simple pleasures of drinking under a starry sky or watching an attractive woman walk by...
These poems are earthy, raw, sweaty - not every haiku struck a chord with me, but some of them aren't meant to. They're deeply personal thoughts from a complicated Southern man who has the talent to articulate a way of life that others like myself can only imagine. But when you least expect it, a nugget of universal truth will hit the reader between the eyes.
Raven's book is moving. It is beautiful. It is essential reading for anyone who appreciates the power of great writing, especially when it's displayed in 17 little syllables.
Early thoughts on THE BARRENS (starring some prick from True Blood):
1. If a dead deer with his intestines hanging out and horns removed jumped in front of my car, I would immediately turn it around and get the fuck away from the Pine Barrens.
2. If I took my family to the Pine Barrens and heard stories about the Jersey Devil, I would put my family back in the car and GET THE FUCK AWAY.
3. If I asked my six-year-old son to "fetch my knife" from the backpack, then saw him playing with an urn (which I happened to bring along for shit'n'giggles) before having horrific flashbacks and passing out......I would tell my wife to DRIVE US THE FUCK OUT OF THE PINE BARRENS...RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
Or is it just me....?
FINAL THOUGHTS: This was SHIT, despite Mia Kirschner looking quite hot in a MILFy kinda way.
After 18 long months, I've finally published a new zine about six-word novels. It's only six pages long, but I'm just happy to finally get the damn thing finished.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you're interested in a copy. ;)
She's coming (and so am I!)....
THE main reason I watch Expo (the home shopping channel) is for this woman. Seriously, if I wasn't married, I would totally hook up with British-born NZ-based Expo host Suzanne Paul.
In a perfect world, I'd invite the former NZ Dancing With The Stars winner to my home - after first cleaning it with my H2O Mop Ultra, iRobot Roomba and Swivel Sweeper Max, then purifying the house with my Oreck Air Purifier - and make her dinner using my Bullet Express and Stonedine cookware.
Afterwards, over a glass of Nopalea, I'd make my move.
Slowly, I'd peel off Suzanne's Cami Shaper and Slim & Tone Leggings. As they fell to the floor I'd lead her into my bedroom where the True Sleeper lay waiting. Lying her down on my My Pillow, she would gasp at the comfort and low, low price before she yielded to my manly charms and we made the beast with two backs all night long.
When I'd finished making love to her for the fifth time straight, I'd pause and gently whisper, "But that's not all..."
In the morning, I'd cook her breakfast in my Flavourwave Express ovens and offer her a work-out session in my living room with my full range of Tapout XT exercise DVDs.
Later, I'd send her a bill for my services, offering her the chance to pay me only $29.95 in five easy monthly instalments, or $149.95 in one full payment.
NORMALLY, I don't wildly sing the praises of zinesters, but TAMARA LAZAROFF is worth the effort. For some time now she's been sending me her exquisitely written, hauntingly beautiful self-published work and I feel privileged that she does so. It's rare to find a writer with such confidence and talent. I'm honoured that she considers me someone worth sending her zines to for reviews. I recently interviewed Tamara and her answers were as refreshing and intelligent as the writing in her zines. Please enjoy the interview...
I'veenjoyedwritingsinceIwaskid.ButIhaveonlybeencreatingzinesforthelastfiveyears. Pre-zines,I'dbeenwonderinghowandwhereIcouldsharemystoriesinawaythatfeltcomfortabletome,thatfitme.AndthenIhappenedtobegoingtotheNewcastleYoungWritersFestivalin2008.Iheardtherewasazinefair.Ibookedastall.I started puttingtogethermyfirstzine,Briefly,Birds.Andthatwasitforme.Itwaslovefromthestart.WhatIreallyloveaboutzinesandzinecultureistheunmediated,intimateandequalconnectionthatIgettohave,asawriter,withareader;andthatareadergetstohavewithme;andthatIgettohaveasareaderwithotherzinesters.Tome,thezineworldisanopen,egalitarianspace.Anyonecanparticipate.
OneofthefirstzinesIfellinlovewithwasGiantessbyCandacePetrik. There are tenissuesaltogetherandtheydealreallycandidlywith being queer,internalisedhomophobiaandcomingout(aswellasotherthings).Gorgeoustolookattoo,Giantessisstilloneofmyfavouritezines. I'm actually writing a homage zine, at the moment, for Giantess. (It's called Lezbianka.) But, anyway, this zine, Giantess, and countless, countless others, continue to inspire me to offer whatever I have to offer right now – writing-wise, and life-wise. I don't have to be polished and perfect.
I'malwaysburstingwithnewideasafterazinefair.Ireadlotsofpoetryandfictionandnon-fiction.Ilikelisteningtopeopletalk,tellstoriesabouttheirlives– conversationinspiresme.ButthefirstwriterwhoinspiredmetoeventhinkaboutmaybewritingmyselfisJackKerouac.IrememberthefirsttimeIreadanythingbyhim.Iusedtoworkinanursinghomeandoneofmyco-workers,onhislastday,gavemehiscopyofDharmaBums.He'dbeenreadinginthestaffroomandI'dbeeninterestedinit.I'dlikedthecover.Myco-workerwantedmetohaveitasagift.Istartedtosay,'No,no,I'llpostitbacktoyou.Ijustwanttoborrowit.'Andhejustsaid,'No.It'syours.Jackwould'vewantedthatway.'Anyway,whenIgothomeandstartedreadingIwastotallyblownaway.Ifeltasifthisbookhadbeenwrittenforme.Likeitwasaletterorsomething.LikesomebodyknewexactlywhatIneededtohear.IhadnoideaabouttheBeatgeneration.IthoughtJackKerouacwasthisobscurewriterI'dluckilystumbledinto.Butthatbook– DharmaBums– atthetimemademefeelthatifIeverwroteanythingIwantedtowritelikeJack.Ha! That's a bit of a grand ambition. Buthedidinspireme. And I think zines are like letters of sorts.
Ienjoythezineasobject– makingazine,assembling,designing,thefactthatIcanholdazineinmyhands,turnthepages'manually'.Ialsoreallyenjoythefactthatzinesareephemeralobjects– muchmoreephemeralthanaproperlybound,acid-freepaperbookorawebpage.Soonerratherthanlater,azinewilldisintegrate,disappear.There'ssomethinglovelyandpoetic and true aboutthat.Onamorepracticalnote,I'mnotverytechnologicalperson.ButIamthinkingaboutablog...
Well,abouttenyearsago,Idecidedtorelearnmyfirstlanguage,Macedonian.Istudieditformallythroughanold-stylecorrespondencecourseatMacquarieUniversity(IwasoneofthelaststudentstograduatebeforetheDepartmentclosedin2010).Anyway,during this time, IhadtheopportunitytotraveltoMacedonia. Igottomeetandspeakwithlotsofpeople;Icollectedalotofstoriesandexperiences.I also gottoseehowIthinkdifferentlyinMacedonian.EmbeddedintheMacedonianlanguage– anylanguage– isawholeworldviewandwayofbeingdifferenttomyworld-viewandwayofbeinginEnglish.ThisissomethingI'vebeentryingtoarticulatein some of myrecentzines– PrisoninMacedonia;IAmNatasha;BunnyMen;Walnuts,Almonds,Nuts.Therearestillmorecoming.
Likeanyone,I'm probably akeenobserverofparticularthings.Growingup,asakid,inatight-knitMacedonianhouseholdandcommunityinSydney,Ioftenfeltlikeananthropologiststudyingpeopleandtheirbehaviours,practices,rituals,customs.Bothinsideandoutsidethehome,'correct'codesweresovastlydifferent.
Hmm,Dann.Idon'tknowhowtoanswerthisone. I enjoy reading adventures-at-home zines just as much as I enjoy travel zines. Adventures-at-home zines I like are: Incredibly Hot Sex With Hideous People (Bryce Galloway), a wry domestic/family-life zine; anything by The Sydney Exploratory Society; and anything by Michelle B. like her hilarious, observational The Joy of Public Transport. Overseas travel zines I like to re-read are: JuneGraveyardandKingdombytheSea(VanessaBerry)whichareaboutVanessa'sliterarypilgrimagestothegravesitesofSylviaPlathandJanetFrame;andHomesick/Awaysick (RenataJoyField);andOneWeekwithBirds(RaquelOrmella) in which Raquel documents in beautiful pictures and words a week in the Tamar Island Wetlands in Tasmania.
IguessIthinkofwritingasbeingmathematical,practicalandpersonal.AstoryissomethingIcandowithmythoughts,feelings,curiosities.It'sawayofworkingthingsout– likeabig,long algebraic problem being asked of me inasymboliclanguageIhavetotranslate. Lots of x'sandy'sandpisandcosinesandsines.Therearen'tanyrightanswers.Butit'senjoyabletryingtoarticulate,inthesimplestway,whatseemsinarticulable.Totrytogiveaformtotheblindspotsinmypsyche.Atleastthat'swhatwritingistomeatthatmoment– whileI'mdoingtheseMacedonianstories.
Well, Iusedtomakejewellery,one-offpieces,andsellthematmarkets around Sydney. Then, Iusedtofeelthateachpiecewaswaitingfortheonepersontocomealongandcollectandclaimit.Ifeelthesameaboutstories.Storieshavetheirdestination,theirreceiverorreceivers.WhatIwantformywriting,mystories,isthat they have thechancetoreachthepeoplewhowouldenjoyorrelateorgetsomething for themselves outof them. Atthemoment,I'mthinkingaboutwhatIwilldowiththeMacedonianstoriesthatseemtobepilingup.Maybetheywouldbenefitfromlookedatbyaneditor.MaybeIwillbringthemtogetherinonegiantzine.MaybeI'llmakeanartists'bookoutofthem.We'llsee.
10. Iftherewasonezinethatyoucouldhandsomeoneandsay,“ThisisME” – whichonewouldyouchoose?Oristhattoohard?IsiteasierifIjustaskwhichzineyou’remostproudof?
Well, as I said, Iamthinkingaboutblog.Butinthemeantime I can be contacted by email:.
Thezines I have available,oldandnew,are: Briefly,Birds(2008) $4(pluspostage); House(2009) $3 (plus postage); NotBroken,ButOpened(2009) $3(pluspostage); PoemsI'veLivedWith(2009) $4(pluspostage); ToPraiseistheThing(2010) $3(pluspostage); PrisoninMacedonia(2012)$3(pluspostage); IAmNatasha(2012) $3(pluspostage); VeryBriefly,Birds(2012) $2(pluspostage); Well,ThatWasWeird(2012) $3(pluspostage); EveryoneTonightInTheStreet!(2013) $4(pluspostage); BunnyMen(2013) $2(pluspostage); Walnuts,Almonds,Nuts(2013) $3(pluspostage); and Anti-Journey (2013) $2(pluspostage).
THE thing I miss most about the zine/self-published magazine implosion of the late 90s (thanks, Internet) was the loss of so many cool mags about indy/schlocky/crappy/great flicks. Film Threat, Exploitation Retrospect, Gore Gazette, Ecco, SPRAK!...they're gone now and unlikely to come back, except maybe as a blog.
So it's nice to see new horror film mag Space Monsters - this one from the UK - being published...even if it's primarily as a PDF edition. Still, that means it's easy to receive via email, A4 in size and in full colour! (The print edition only has colour covers - with B&W interiors - and is A5.)
Issue three goes on sale next month, so I'm tardily reviewing issue two, which I enjoyed immensely, partly 'cos it features an article written by saucy British scream queen EMILY BOOTH.
Issue #2 focuses on space vampires, so there are articles on such goodies as the original The Thing, Lifeforce (I greatly enjoyed this article on the troubled Tobe Hooper film), plus alien bloodsuckers in TV's Space 1999 and Buck Rogers, and a look at the disastrous attempts to get sexy comic superstar Vampirella onto the big screen. And the proverbial much, much more.
There's a lot to recommend about this magazine, written with wit, passion and enthusiasm.
For more info and to order your own copy, check out:
I'VE always loved mixtapes - making and receiving them. Helen made one for us when Jones was born in 2007, to play in the car (yes, we still had a tapedeck in in the old Mazda 121) as we drove home from the hospital. We both cried listening to the songs that were the first songs our daughter ever heard.
Nowadays, I guess they're called mix CDs (or mix memory sticks or whatever). The nice thing about them is the fact that someone cares enough about you to share his/her musical tastes with you in the hope that you will like/love some of the songs they send you.
What's changed in this digital era is the ease that you can then get into a particular artist you hear on the mixtape: checking out a few videos by them on YouTube and, if you're impressed, buying a CD or two on eBay/Amazon/iTunes/wherever.
Recently, an old friend sent me a memory stick filled with a bunch of random tunes. We play it a lot in the car and the kids really got into the songs, too...to the point where my 3yo demanded "track listings", so I had to make him a fake CD cover to read.
I was already into a couple of artists my mate included - The The, Lydia Lunch and Laura Veirs - which goes to show he and I both have great taste in music. But his gift opened my mind to a slab of indie artists - Lovers, Bailter Space, Imperial Teen, Kinski and Psychic Ills - and a legend, Neil Young, who I'm now getting into for the first time.
Lovers (who I quickly grew to adore), I bought a couple of their most recent CDs directly from their website at http://www.loversarelovers.com/. Hey, might as well cut out the middlemen and give my cash straight to the band, right?
Y'know, the way we acquire new music may be changing as we exit 2013 and hurtle towards 2014, but the ways we HEAR about new music remains the same. For ezample, we'll always have friends who wanna make mixtapes to give us, and I think that's cool.
Long story short, thanks for the mixtape, Dames.
ISOLATION VALVE. kami had already warned us that this eccentric trio - led by two brothers - were notorious around town for never doing the same gig twice. Playing a country music set at a punk gig was a mild example of what they were capable of - it seems the band's main aim in life is to piss off their audiences. They didn't disappoint us this night.
Firstly, they called the birthday boy over and proceeded to strip for him down to their (women's) underwear. They then did a set of acoustic originals that I don't know the exact names of, but I think two of the titles were There's A Volcano In My Living Room (a sing-along ditty) and I Sold My Little Sister On The Internet. All sung in an annoying, weedy voice by the lead singer who, as an encore, stripped naked and had a shower on-stage. Think Frank Zappa/Captain Beefheart/every annoying performance artist you've ever had the misfortune of seeing and you'd get Isolation Valve. They were BRILLIANT.
As birthday bashes go, this was one of the most memorable I've attended. I think more birthday beanos (and gigs in general) should be held in strip clubs.
Bizarrism#8: From the gaudy, gory cover depicting Tiger Balm Gardens in Singapore to a shocking expose on the horrendous excesses of dead Libyan dictator Gaddafi (possibly the worst serial rapist of all time), Chris’s celebrated, long-running zine is off to another heady start. Add to this more sensational research into the very mysterious death of the unknown Somerton Man and the truly fabulous adventures (if slightly untrue) of Denisa, Lady Newborough and you have a thoroughly entertaining read. Again.
Chris Mikul, PO Box K546, Haymarket, NSW, 1240, AUSTRALIA, email@example.com[$8, 44 x A4, 90min]
YEP, it's World Cup time again. We are only a few days away from communally enjoying - along with billions of other casual (and not-so-casual) fans around the globe - all the spectacle, controversy, drama and hoopla surrounding this four-yearly extravaganza as Brazil plays host to a month-long, 32-country tourney.
Once again, Helen and I will be glued to the TV set well into the early hours of the morning eyeballing soccer, a sport we haven't bothered watching since...ooooooh, the last World Cup in 2010.
Even though we don't know any of the players or quality of the various teams - although we suspect the home team are probably odds-on to to win their sixth title - I'm pretty certain we'll still cheer on Australia, who are again massive underdogs and unlikely to move into the final 16 due to their harsh group draw.
I've watched the World Cup since I was a kid, going back to 1978, but it's only in the past eight years that it's taken on a spiritual aspect for us. Helen and I conceived our eldest daughter during the 2006 World Cup (I believe it occurred following Australia's 2-2 draw with Croatia that helped us make the final 16). And Helen gave birth to our son just prior to the 2010 World Cup, so I have strong memories of nursing a crying baby while watching games at three in the morning.
The World Cup has great significance for us now for those reasons, even though we're very much four-yearly warriors when it comes to trying to understand what the hell is going on. Who are these players who are supposedly the next coming of Pele? Who is that strange referee with the bald head who resembles Frankenstein and appears to be a bigger star than many of the players? Why is England always so crap in the World Cup? These remain mysteries to us.
So thank fuck someone has taken the considerably nerdy effort to compile a comprehensive guide to this year's World Cup. It takes a true outsider to bring a new, unique perspective to the beautiful game's biggest event, and they don't come any more outside than a lounging, literate, haiku-scribblin' American of the Southern persuasion (a West Virginian no less). Raven Mack's new 200-page book doesn't just preview the World Cup, going into serious detail about every single country taking part. It's also a profound look at the spiritual and cultural make-up of each country. Read Football Metaphysics and be edjumacated about these nations and why they have come together in steamy Brazil to kick a ball around a patch of grass in front of hundreds of thousands of insane, passionate fans.
You may learn something about football (or soccer as I stubbornly continue to call the sport). But you'll definitely learn a whole lot more about people in general, and Raven Mack in particular.
Order your e-copy now - IT'S NOT TOO LATE - HERE or THERE.
Here's a blatant attempt to up the hit count on my blog. Let's see if it works. :)
Please comment if and why you like Kate's breasts. :)
Unbelievably Bad#12: The problem with pumping out a few quick issues of a magazine of the magnitude of UB is that inevitably there's gonna be the dreaded throwaway issue that lacks a bit of substance. To me, #12 is THAT throwaway ish - it's not bad, but was it necessary? Especially with #13 just around the corner. The problem for me is that this ish is overloaded with interviews with a bunch of local heavy metal/hardcore bands that left me cold as I'm not into the scene. Plus there's another instalment of the never-ending interview with gore film director Herschell Gordon Lewis which, to use an MMA reference, had me tapping out years ago. Of course, there ARE highlights in #12 including a round-up of quotable quotes from Charlie Manson acolyte Bobby BeauSoleil, an indepth look at one man's controversial attempt to do a GG Allin tribute band show in Melbourne (pretty funny, actually), and a Favourite Freaks feature on one-armed MMA tough guy Nick Newell. Any average issue of Unbelievably Bad is streets ahead of most other publications, but I look forward to UB hitting better form next time around.